i need an iv and a liver transplant
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
