Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize