Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
