I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
