he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
