Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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