You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Randomize
