No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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