oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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