i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
