its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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