Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
