Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
