dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
