Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
