My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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