I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
