You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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