You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
