God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize