So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
