she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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