What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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