If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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