i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
