My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
