hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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