i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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