4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
