In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
