I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
