I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
