im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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