Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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