I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
my liver is dry heaving
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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