My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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