How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
