I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
