so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
