party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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