The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
