do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
