Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
