Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Need sex. Gaining weight.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
