I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
