I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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