Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
