im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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