yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
