why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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