i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sober January is a disaster.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Your penis caused this!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
