i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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