She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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