Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize