so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
