mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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