It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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