is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
