there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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