I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just saw a hot homeless man
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
