Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
