if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
